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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29439435">Love Spells are the Best Form of Matchmaking</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alice_on_Elm_Street/pseuds/Alice_on_Elm_Street'>Alice_on_Elm_Street</a>, <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZipperCookie/pseuds/ZipperCookie'>ZipperCookie</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hunter X Hunter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Everybody is thirsty for Kurapika, Feitan’s Unique Brand of Affection, Kurta Clan's Scarlet Eyes (Hunter X Hunter), Love Potion/Spell, M/M, Machi needs a nap and a drink, Melody is not a happy camper, Mutual Pining, Shalnark is emotionally constipated, They know what they did and they aren't getting out of this, This is what happens when we're left unsupervised, Welcome to our chaos, ZipperCookie helped, hisoka being hisoka</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 17:15:14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,859</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29439435</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alice_on_Elm_Street/pseuds/Alice_on_Elm_Street, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZipperCookie/pseuds/ZipperCookie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurapika’s Valentine’s Day turns out far more eventful that he expected.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Feitan/Phinks (Hunter X Hunter), Kurapika/Leorio Paladiknight, Uvogin | Ubogin/Shalnark</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Happy Valentine’s Day all!</p>
<p>This is a very cracky little fic my friend and I have been working on. You can thank her for much of the glorious dialogue ahead. </p>
<p>Moral of the story is that we should never be left unsupervised for any reason. Only chaos will follow.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Alright. Don’t worry, Cheadle, I can take care of it.” Kurapika hung up his phone. Leorio had warned him when he joined the Zodiacs about Cheadle’s micro-managing, but this was getting ridiculous. He breathed into his hands, trying to warm them against the chilly February air. He’d been a Zodiac hardly a week and already he was running errands all over the city in preparation for the unexpected Dark Continent voyage that had prompted his appointment in the first place. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Normally he wouldn’t have minded it, if not for the large crowds that had taken over the streets. Valentine’s Day was upon them and people were out in droves, buying gifts and going on dates. Not a single corner wasn’t decorated with frilly pink hearts or red Cupid arrows. Kurapika had nothing against the holiday itself, but the fervor with which some people celebrated it was exhausting. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about you, sir? Will you be my Valentine?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kurapika looked up from his phone. Up ahead there was a woman decked out in a ridiculous ensemble. It was clearly meant to be for Valentine’s Day, an explosion of red, pink, and white from head to toe. She seemed to be grabbing at every man who looked her way. With all the commotion she was making, Kurapika wasn’t at all surprised at the attention she was attracting. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Large blue eyes locked on him and Kurapika felt a surge of panic. The woman beamed and took a step towards him and he spun around, darting inside the first shop he saw. He had no intention of getting caught up in such lunacy. He spotted a display and quickly ducked behind it just as the woman ran past the shop window. She hovered there for a moment, looking around in confusion, before spotting a new target and bouncing away after him. Kurapika sighed in relief and sat on the floor. This holiday was starting to grate on him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello? Can I help you with anything?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kurapika jumped and turned, half expecting to see the Valentine obsessed woman. Instead, before him stood a rather mousey young woman peering at him through her large round glasses. Kurapika quickly stood, brushing himself off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um, no. No thank you, I’m...I’m alright. I was just...tying my shoe.” He could feel his face heating up. He must look ridiculous. “So...what do you sell here? I’ve never visited this place before.” He picked up something off the display and pretended to examine it. Maybe work would distract her. He turned the bottle over in his hand, choked when he caught the words “sexual stimulant” on the label, and quickly returned it to the shelf. Oh dear. What kind of shop had he stepped into?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The young woman beamed. “Oh, are you looking for something? Probably for Valentine’s Day, right? Follow me. I’m Tovi, by the way.” She took his arm and pulled him to a counter on the other side of the shop. She released him and ducked behind it, bringing several items up and laying them out for him to see. She plucked up a small box first. “All of our products are handmade by my boss, Rosa. Valentine’s Day is her favorite day of the year, so she’s been working really hard to make a lot of new stuff. All of her products are made to help people find their true love and to help love flourish!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kurapika nodded, smiling slightly as she began to babble about the product she was holding. It was certainly a nice sentiment, though his love life hadn’t exactly been at the forefront of his mind over the years. Not that he didn’t have anyone in mind. He just...didn’t have the time for something like that. And now with the Zodiac work and the upcoming voyage on top of everything...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...and this one is called Love Spell! Here! Tell me what you think!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kurapika was caught off guard when a mist hit him in the face and a powerful scent assaulted his senses. He coughed and gagged, throwing up a hand over his mouth. It smelled of roses and sugar and something musky and made his head spin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my goodness!” Tovi cried, placing down the rather large red glass perfume bottle she had been holding. “I am so sorry! I didn’t think it would come out like that! Are you alright?” She moved around the counter to touch his shoulder, but he waved her off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s alright, I’m fine. I just wasn’t expecting it.” He still felt a little dizzy, but shook it off. No need to worry her. Still, she seemed reluctant to accept his assurances, so he quickly grabbed another of the items she had brought out. “I think this will be fine. How much?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>—-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kurapika tucked the little item, now wrapped in red tissue paper and tied with a white ribbon, into his pocket as he stepped out of the little shop into the chilly February air. He checked his watch and saw it was nearly noon. </span>
  <em>
    <span>That took way too long</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he thought. </span>
  <em>
    <span>At least that crazy woman seems to be gone. I should still be able to get my work done if I hurry</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He pulled his coat tighter around himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His main errand would be to the warehouse where they were storing the supplies for the upcoming voyage to the dark continent. Cheadle had asked that he check in and deal with some concerns that had arisen. He thought about hailing a cab, but the warehouse was only a few blocks from him. Hardly worth the cab fare for a 5 minute drive, so he set out on foot. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The walk took him through the main shopping district of the city, currently crowded and bustling with activity in preparation for the upcoming holiday. As busy as the sidewalk was, the streets were even worse, and Kurapika was thankful for his decision to not take a cab. Who knows how long he would have been sitting there? Kurapika staggered sharply when a man passing by him collided with his shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man rounded on him, snarling. “Hey! Watch where you’re…” He trailed off, staring at Kurapika with a dazed expression. “I mean...I’m sorry. I should have been more careful.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kurapika blinked. Well...that was unexpected. The man was still staring at him with an intensity that made the blonde squirm. “Um...it’s alright. Don’t worry about it.” He backed away from the strange man, who continued to stare at him even as he turned and hurried off down the sidewalk. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What’s his problem? I don’t know him, do I? I hope I wasn’t rude</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Kurapika thought. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But that wasn’t the end of it. As he continued along the sidewalk, people continued to act strangely towards him. Constant compliments, being overly polite, even giving him small gifts. He’d passed it off at first as people being overly cheery from the holiday, but now it had gotten worrisome. It would have been pleasant if it weren’t so out of place. And now…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>People were following him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’d noticed it about a block back, a rather sizable crowd following behind him. Initially he had written it off as the normal crowd migrating along the same direction as him, but as he got closer and closer to the warehouses and the typical crowd faded away, it became far more obvious. They didn’t seem hostile. In fact, at first they seemed perfectly content to just follow him around. But slowly they had gotten closer and closer and now it was concerning. Kurapika sighed and turned to face the crowd. Instantly, they froze, staring at him with a kind of reverence that made him cringe.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is there something I can help you all with?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No one said anything. They just stared at him. Kurapika swallowed nervously. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay...I’m going to go then…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I LOVE YOU.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kurapika froze, mid-turning away from the crowd. He slowly turned back. “Excuse me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A man staggered forward, eyes locked on him. Kurapika recognized him as the man he had run into before. He looked </span>
  <em>
    <span>off</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He was breathing heavily, eyes wide and jaw slack. He looked at Kurapika like he wanted to consume him. It made the blonde cringe.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you,” the man gasped again. “You’re beautiful. Your hair shines like the sun. Your skin is like alabaster. Your butt is-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay!” Kurapika shouted.The crowd stared at him. He cleared his throat. “That’s...all very flattering. But I...um... I’m afraid that I don’t…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you too!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kurapika wasn’t actually sure who shouted that time. It had some from somewhere in the crowd. It didn’t really matter though. Before long, all of the them were echoing the sentiment, crying praises and compliments - some far more explicit than others - as they inched closer to him. Soon they began to argue with each other, fighting about who deserved to have him. They were steadily working themselves into a frenzy. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This is insane</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Kurapika thought. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What is wrong with these people?</span>
  </em>
  <span> He began to back away from them as they argued amongst themselves. </span>
  <em>
    <span>The warehouse isn’t far from here. If I could just get there</span>
  </em>
  <span>...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kurapika froze. His veins turned to ice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s getting away!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Instantly, all eyes turned to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kurapika ran.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>—-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t believe you lost the chain user.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck, Machi, I said I was sorry, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry doesn’t find us the chain user, Phinks.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Feitan growled. “Be quiet. People looking at us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Machi crossed her arms over her chest. “We’re not exactly the most inconspicuous group. People would stare either way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nobunaga rolled his eyes. “Maybe we wouldn’t stand out so much if some people knew how to dress like normal humans.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, I agree Shalnark look dumb,” Feitan nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey!” The blond looked up from his phone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was talking about </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>, dumbass.” Nobunaga rolled his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You want fight?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bring it, runt-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, there he is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The troupe all whipped around to look at Shizuku.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where?!” Phinks asked. She pointed ahead of them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They followed her gesture.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“SHIT! MOVE!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The group just barely managed to jump into an alley to avoid being trampled as Kurapika sped past them, a stampede of people tearing after him. They gazed after him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What was that all about?” Franklin asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know...but did you see the way his hair was blowing in the wind? Like a divine angel...” Chrollo asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah…” Phinks said. “It was like...really pretty.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, she is,” Machi sighed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh...that’s a boy, Machi.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Machi blinked, shaking her head. “Huh? What? Wow, that was weird. I felt all floaty and I wanted to-FEITAN NO!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She and Franklin leapt out of the alley to grab the transmuter as he walked out of the alley and made to go after the chain user and the crowd following him. Even as Franklin held him aloft, he continued to try pursuing the blonde, near running in mid-air with his eyes locked in the direction Kurapika had disappeared in. Shalnark looked up from his phone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’d I miss?”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next time: Kurapika uses a chair as a weapon, Leorio falls off a couch, and Melody is called in.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The warehouse had been a mistake. Kurapika had managed to get inside, but mere moments after his arrival, the workers had succumbed to the same hysteria as the crowd outside. He’d just barely managed to escape. Now he was simply making a mad dash for the Hunter’s Association Headquarters. The crowd had only seemed to get bigger with every new person he ran into.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This is ridiculous!</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Kurapika thought. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What is wrong with these people?!</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The Hunter’s Association HQ was visible in the distance now. Thankfully his skills as a hunter allowed him to stay ahead of the mob with relative ease, but they were certainly a relentless bunch. Despite his best efforts, he hadn’t managed to lose them, but at least he had managed to stay out of their reach. And based on what he could hear from them, he very much did not want to get caught by them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kurapika rushed up the front steps of the Hunter’s Association HQ, waving his arms wildly to get the attention of the security officers milling about. He burst through the doors, forgoing the elevator entirely and making for the stairs. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Lock the doors! They’re all crazy!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The security scrambled to comply, thankfully managing to slam the doors on the mob before they could enter the building. That didn’t seem to deter them, though, as they began to beat against the doors and windows, trying to force their way in. Kurapika didn’t stick around to see if they succeeded, taking the stairs 2 at a time as he rushed up towards his office. He had just flung himself onto the third floor when he ran full force into a mess of glittery pink and red.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>To his credit, Pariston hardly budged from his spot despite Kurapika running into him at full speed. He simply took a step back, blinked a couple times, then beamed down at the new Zodiac. “Oh, hello. And where are you off to in such a hurry?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kurapika hardly heard him. “My apologies, I have to go!” He hurried past the former rat, making for the safety of his office and completely unaware of the eyes on his back. Rushing down the hall, Kurapika had never been so relieved by the sight of his office door. He fumbled the key out of his pocket and shoved the door open the second he heard the lock click. He slammed the door behind him and dropped back against it, breathing heavily. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What is going on?</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he thought. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Everything was normal just this morning and now everyone has lost their collective minds</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He trudged over to his desk, tossing his jacket over the back of his chair before collapsing into it. Through the large windows of his office he could see the crowd below. It looked even bigger than he had initially thought. Granted he hadn’t exactly been counting. He’d been far more preoccupied with his escape. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A sharp knock at the door made him jump and duck behind his desk. Had they gotten in? The doorknob turned and the door began to open and Kurapika realized with a flash of dread that he had forgotten to lock it. He scrambled for something to protect himself with as a familiar face appeared.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kurapika? Hey, you in he-what are you doing?” Leorio stared at him and the chair he was brandishing with utter confusion. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kurapika blushed, but stood his ground. He wasn’t taking any chances. “Leorio, I know this is going to sound strange, but are you experiencing any unusual feelings of attraction to me of a romantic or sexual nature?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The tall man blinked at him, color rising in his cheeks. “Uh...well, I mean...um...not </span>
  <em>
    <span>unusual</span>
  </em>
  <span> per say. W-why would you ask something like that?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kurapika sighed in relief. “Oh thank goodness.” He put his chair down and collapsed into it again. “I swear half the city has gone crazy. I had a mob of people confess romantic and...</span>
  <em>
    <span>other</span>
  </em>
  <span> feelings towards me today and then pursue me through the city. It seems to happen to everyone I encounter, which was why I feared you may have fallen to the same hysteria.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leorio stared at him in shock. “Uh...okay, that’s all kinds of weird.” He shut the door behind him and moved to perch on Kurapika’s desk. Kurapika quickly averted his eyes, trying to ignore the rather suggestive position. “And you have no idea why?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kurapika sighed, relaxing in the chair and letting his head fall back. “No. I ran into some crazy lady earlier, but I never actually interacted with her so I doubt that had anything to do with it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leorio hummed, resting his chin in his hand. “It could be a nen ability. Hold on.” Leorio summoned his gyo, letting his eyes travel over the conjurer. Sure enough, a distinct magenta aura surrounded him in a soft glow. “Oh yeah, you’ve definitely got someone’s aura all around you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kurapika sat up abruptly. “What? But how? I wasn’t attacked by a nen user at all!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leorio shrugged. “Maybe you were and you just weren’t aware? It could have been some kind of sneak attack.” Leorio swallowed. “Do you think it could have been the troupe?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kurapika tensed. He hadn’t even considered that. Come to think of it, he might have seen them on his way back to the Hunter’s Association HQ, but he’d been too caught up with the situation to really pay attention. Had they done this to him?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s a possibility,” he said finally. “But why? What would this accomplish for them?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe they thought it would make you vulnerable. If people can’t be around you without going crazy, you’d have to avoid people.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But you aren’t affected,” Kurapika pointed out. “So that wouldn’t really work. Clearly some people are exempt for whatever reason. Maybe-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The door swung open with a loud bang and Mizai, Cluck, and Pyon stormed into the room. They looked panicked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Cluck snapped, slamming her hands down on his desk and leaning into his face. “Wanna explain why there’s a riot at our front door demanding we hand you over?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Pyon joined her. “Our security can’t hold them off. It will look really bad if the Hunter’s Association is hurting civilians. We need to get rid of them soon.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kurapika paled, turning to look out the window over his shoulder. Indeed the crowd seemed to have gotten even rowdier. He could hear them shouting from up there. He swallowed. </span>
  <span>"I know this is going to sound absurd, but I think all those people are in love with me...or at least want to have sex with me."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The other Zodiacs blinked at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s not all that crazy,” Pyon said. “You...are a very attractive person after all.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kurapika tensed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I agree,” Cluck said. She suddenly darted around the side of the desk, grabbing onto Kurapika’s arm and pressing her breasts against him. “But I can protect him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dread pooled in Kurapika’s stomach. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh no</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He stood, trying to step away from her, but her grip only tightened.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Really, Cluck, I appreciate the offer, but that’s not necessary-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Pyon huffed and seized Kurapika’s other arm. “He doesn’t need a hussy like you! I can protect him just fine!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cluck laughed. “Oh yeah? You wanna go? We could settle that right now!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kurapika swallowed. “Ladies, please, just calm down…” He tensed when they both turned to him, eyes blazing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kurapika, who would you rather have protecting you?” Pyon asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, which one of us do you like better?” Cluck asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kurapika looked between them nervously. “I...well, I…” Suddenly a hand seized his shoulder and he was yanked forward into a firm chest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You're both being ridiculous,” Mizai said. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>I’ll</span>
  </em>
  <span> protect him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cluck fumed. “Oh, like </span>
  <em>
    <span>hell</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mizai moved Kurapika behind him when she made a grab for him again and the three began to argue. Kurapika groaned. Even the famous Zodiacs weren’t immune to this curse.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Psst! Kurapika!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kurapika glanced over his shoulder. Leorio had made it to the door and was giving him frantic </span>
  <em>
    <span>let’s go</span>
  </em>
  <span> gestures. Kurapika swallowed again and nodded. Deciding the Zodiacs were thoroughly distracted in their argument, he carefully backed away from them, reaching back blindly and letting Leorio take his hand to guide him out the door. Leorio shut it softly behind them. He pushed his glasses up his nose.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So when you said weird…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kurapika rested his back against the door. “They were acting exactly like the people who chased me. You’re the only one who hasn’t been affected.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leorio hummed, nodding. “What do you say we try my office instead? No one will look for you there and we can try to figure this out.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Agreed.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>—-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The trip to Leorio’s office proved to be more eventful than Kurapika would have liked. Aside from three random staff members, they also managed to run into the horse and snake Zodiacs. After a thorough chase around the third floor, they managed to lose them and had made it to the emitter’s office. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We need backup,” Leorio panted, slumping down onto the small couch. “There’s no way we can handle this with just the two of us.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kurapika dropped down next to him, letting his eyes fall closed and leaning into his side. “Who can we possibly ask? For all we know they’ll just end up like everyone else.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Y-you’ve got a point, but they probably wouldn’t be affected over the phone, right? So we could at least try asking for some advice or something.” Leorio cleared his throat. “What about Melody? She’s usually got a level head on her shoulders. Maybe she’ll have an idea of what to do about this mess.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kurapika nodded. “That’s a good plan.” He held his hand out. “Let me borrow your phone? I left mine in my office. I’ll do it since your face is still all red from running. You should catch your breath.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The emitter fumbled for his phone. “Y-yeah...from running...that’s it…” He avoided the blonde’s eyes as he handed over the phone and Kurapika dialed. True to form, it took Melody only a single ring to answer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good afternoon, Leorio!” She chirped.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Actually, it’s Kurapika,” the blonde said. “I’m borrowing Leorio’s phone. Do you have a moment?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh of course. Is everything alright?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kurapika could hear the concern in her voice. “Not exactly, I’m afraid. Something very strange is happening…” Kurapika shifted, bringing his feet up onto the couch and fully resting his back against Leorio’s side as he explained the situation to her. He was warm, a pleasant relief to the chilly air outside. Kurapika hadn’t realized how cold he was until now. He supposed he hadn’t had a chance to properly warm up since arriving in the building. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That...certainly is strange. And this only started this morning?” Melody asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Kurapika said. “We’re kind of at a loss for what to do at this point.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A sigh floated across the line. “Alright, I’m on my way.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kurapika bolted upright, startling Leorio who had begun to nap against him and cause the tall man to tumble off the couch. “You can’t! What if you end up affected?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then we’ll deal with that when it happens, but I don’t think it will be a problem. I certainly love you, Kurapika, but as a brother. I doubt I’ll be affected.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kurapika frowned. “I...guess that makes sense. But still, we have no idea how this thing even works.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’ll figure it out then. I can be there in about 30 minutes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, okay. We’re hiding in Leorio’s office. Yeah, I’ll see you soon then.” He sighed and hung up the phone. Leorio blinked up at him from the floor.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t tell me...she’s coming here?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” Kurapika flopped back against the couch, laying his arm over his eyes. “She’s insisting. Nothing I can do to stop her.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leorio chuckled. “So there is someone the great Kurapika can’t say no to, huh?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shush,” Kurapika peeked out from under his arm to frown at the emitter. Before he could say anything else, there was a soft knock at the door. Both froze, slowly turning to look at it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leorio cast a side-eyed glance up at Kurapika. “It...it’s not Melody already, is it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No. There’s no way she could have gotten here that fast.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leorio nodded and cleared his throat. “Who is it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh! It’s Beans, Mr. Leorio. I have to talk to you about what is happening outside the building! It’s very concerning and I can’t find any of the other Zodiacs!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kurapika and Leorio exchanged nervous looks. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Should we risk it?</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Kurapika thought. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Surely Beans wouldn’t be too much of an issue if he were to get affected, and if he were somehow unaffected like Leorio then he would be able to help us</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leorio gestured towards the door with a questioning look. Kurapika swallowed and nodded. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Just a little</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he mouthed. Leorio stood and took a deep breath, crossing to the door and opening it just enough to pop his head out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh, so it’s probably best you don’t come in right now. Kurapika is here and-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh thank goodness!” Beans looked up at him, clearly distressed. “Then maybe you both can help me! These people are getting out of control!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leorio shook his head. “No, you don’t understand. Everything happening right now is because of Kurapika-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?! What did he do?! Oh no, this is a disaster! Please move aside, Mr. Leorio. I need to speak to him this instant!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Before Leorio could shut the door, Beans had pushed past him and was making a beeline towards the blonde still seated on the couch. Kurapika yelped and jumped up, trying to put distance between him and the small man. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait! You shouldn’t-“</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Beans planted his hand on his hips. “As the chairman’s assistant, it is my job to keep hints orderly around here. Well...as orderly as they can be, but that’s beside the point. If you’ve done something…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, I haven’t done anything...at least I don’t think I have. It’s a little complicated.” Kurapika looked over Beans’ head at Leorio, who seemed prepared to bounce on the small man if necessary. He took a breath. “You don’t feel...</span>
  <em>
    <span>strange</span>
  </em>
  <span> at all, do you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Beans looked at him in confusion. “Strange? No, I don’t think so. What do you mean?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Strange like...you love me or something like that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Beans blushed and coughed into his fist. “Mr. Kurapika, while I certainly think you are a perfectly decent individual, I should inform you that I am happily married, thank you very much.” He pulled off one of his gloves, displaying a gold wedding band on his left hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kurapika sighed, every muscle relaxing as he slumped back onto the couch. “Oh thank god. We found another one.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Another one? Will someone please tell me what is going on?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kurapika groaned, pulling one of the throw pillows down over his face. “Leorio, would you? This whole thing is giving me a headache.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leorio nodded. “Yeah, I got it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kurapika tuned them out as Leorio began explaining the situation to Beans. All at once, he was very thankful that Leorio was there. He couldn't imagine having to deal with this insanity without him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh dear,” Beans said. “This isn’t good at all.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Kurapika groaned from the couch. “We’re aware.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And we’re the only ones who haven’t been affected?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leorio scratched the back of his head. “So far as we know, yeah. Everyone else we’ve run into has become completely enamored with Kurapika.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"How bizarre. And you've indeed determined that this is the result of a nen ability?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yup."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Alright," Beans nodded. "That doesn't narrow it down much. Many hunters were in the city for the election so it could be anyone."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Just then Leorio's phone buzzed. Kurapika lifted the pillow to look at the screen. "It's Melody. She's in the building."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Do you want me to meet her?" Leorio asked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"No, she's on her way to the office. You might want to meet her outside the door though. Give her fair warning."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leorio nodded and headed out into the hallway as Kurapika retreated back under the pillow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It wasn't long before Melody appeared at the end of the hallway, looking frazzled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Kurapika wasn't kidding. It's chaos out there. The security is doing all they can to keep everyone out. I had to get in through the roof access," Melody said as she came up to him. "How is Kurapika doing?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leorio rubbed the back of his neck. "He's...dealing with it. Honestly the situation has him exhausted. We're no closer to figuring out what's even going on. Although we have Beans helping us now. He doesn't seem to be affected. No idea why, of course. And-"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Leorio," Melody said suddenly. "Open the door. We have to get in there. I hear something coming."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leorio blinked. "What? Melody, we're on the third floor. None of those people could-"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Crash!</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"They could if they're nen users!" She shoved past him, grabbing the door handle and yanking hard. It didn't budge. "Leorio!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Sorry! I locked it just in case any of the crazies tried to get past me!" He scrambled, yanking his keys out of his pocket and fumbling them into the lock.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Leorio, hurry up!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I am!" There were voices on the other side of the door. He couldn't make out if any of them were Kurapika. He growled. "FUCK IT!" Leorio shoved the keys back into his pocket and kicked hard. The doors splintered under the force and came free of the hinges, crashing to the ground in pieces. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The window of the office had been completely smashed and his desk overturned. The office was empty.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leorio felt his heart skip a beat. "Kurapika?! Beans?!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I-I'm here!" Slowly, Beans emerged from behind the desk, trembling.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"What the hell happened?!" Leorio asked. He didn't see any blood. He hoped that was a good sign. Beans whimpered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I-it was them! The Phantom Troupe! They took Kurapika!"</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next time: Chrollo attempts a romantic evening, Phinks wants a turn, and Feitan is a relationship expert</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Next time: Kurapika uses a chair as a weapon, Leorio falls off a couch, and Melody is called in.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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